The Big NFL Prediction Review

Hey guys, I figure it’s good idea to talk about all the cool stuff that happened last NFL Sunday while at the same time keeping Tony, Jordan, and I accountable for our dog shit gambling advice. It also gives me the chance to pick the sexy Thursday night shit show game.

SF(-15.5)vs. JAX IN LONDON!!!!!

Result: SF 42 JAX 10.

Whelp, they covered that giant point line. They didn’t pass to run up the score and they didn’t need to as they literally ran up the score(zing). Collin Kaepernick had day, good work Kaepernickerbocker fantasy owners. Sorry we did that to you Londoners but get used to Jacksonville soon they’ll be all yours.

Tony 0-1 Jon 0-1 Jordan  1-0

DAL@ DET(-3)

Tony Romo covered and the cowboys didn’t win. It was good day. There was also that weird Dez Bryant Jason Witten fight on the sidelines that Demarcus Ware mediated. I would stop yelling things at people if Demarcus Ware touched me. Calvin Johnson continues to be better than everyone.

Tony 0-2 Jon 1-1 Jordan 2-0

CLE @ KC(7-5)

Result: KC 23 CLE 17

Jason Campbell came in a played well, as he has for most of his career. Expect him to get benched and name called by the coach next week because that poor man has no luck. I don’t know why we think KC is the worst 8-0 in history, they have an amazing defense and play within their offensive talent. They might be boring but the way they win is sustainable.

Tony 1-2 Jon 2-1 Jordan 3-0

MIA @ NE(-7)

Result: NE 27 MIA 17

Miami looked really good and then promptly remembered how limited their talent was and chose to ignore their best offensive option against New England in order to have Tannehill chuck it 42 times at 52 percent accuracy. They did this while their lead running back averaged 5 yards a carry. Bilichick continued to cement his stance of hating people having fun by persisting to fuck Steven Ridley fantasy owners.

Tony 2-2 Jon 3-1 Jordan 3-1

BUF @ NO (-11.5)

Result NO 35 BUF 17

Thad Lewis left on the first play Billes offensive play on a fumble making everyone fear they were in for another episode of Tuel Time. Thankfully, he returned to fumble again. Other than the turnovers Thad Lewis did well for a Thad Lewis, but Drew Brees did Drew Bress things on the way to 5 TD passes.

Tony 2-3 Jon 3-2 Jordan 3-2

NYG @ PHI(-5)

Result NYG 15 PHI y

/Vomits. Please go away Matt Barkley you are no answer to any question other than who is not a competent quarterback. Good work Josh Brown fantasy owners though

Tony 2-4 Jon 4-2 Jordan 3-3

NYJ @ CIN(-6.5)

Result: CIN 49 NYJ 9

So, Marvin Jones turns out to be a fantasy hero for that guy that was in last place with everyone hurt and had start somebody, good for you that guy, for shame on anyone throwing away their free agent budget on him currently. By the way, Andy Dalton had as many TDs as Drew Brees last week. Some bad fantasy owner in Cinci just won by 100.

Tony 2-5 Jon 5-2 Jordan 4-3

WASH @ DEN(-13)

Result: DEN 45 WASH 21

No one wanted the football and continued to throw it to each other. Some how Denver scored 45, which was more than enough to cover. RG part 3 didn’t look great and WASH refused to hand it off to a guy getting 5.5 yards a carry. It was an ugly looking game.

Tony 3-5 Jon 5-3 Jordan 5-3

ATL @ AZ(-2)

Result: AZ 27 ATL 13

Andre Ellington averaged over 10 yard per carry. That defense sure is great in ATL. Bright spot though, Harry Douglas is putting up numbers.

Tony 4-5 Jon 5-4 Jordan 5-4

GB @ MIN (-9.5)

Result: GB 44 MIN 31

Aaron Rodger played one the best games of his career and Jordy Nelson made everyone forget how dismally injured the Packers’ receiving core is. All of this happened against one of the worst secondaries in football. Eddie Lacy persists to be a big scary animal.

Tony 4-6 Jon 5-5 Jordan 6-4

SEA(-12) @ STL

Result: SEA 14 STL 9

Kellen Clemens played against the best defense in the game and it went about as well that sounds like it would go. Zach Stacy and the St. Louis defense kept this game closer than it needed to be and actually kept them ahead until Golden Tate gave SEA the come from behind win.

Tony 5-6 Jon 6-5 Jordan 6-5

Thursday Shit Show Prediction

Cinci(-3) @ MIA

Pick:Cinci

Miami will certainly shoot themselves in the foot again and The Bengals looked mighty fine last week against a team that is comparable to the Dolphins.  I hope Marvin Jones goes catchless to punish you overzealous fantasy players.

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