Song of the Day: Next – “Too Close”

The year is 1998. The economy is doing well and Bill Clinton is happily banging interns. The Drew Carrey Show is on TV and is actually something that people watched and enjoyed. 1998 was a simpler time. Life was carefree. Life was good. Life was free. Life was freely good. One of the songs that made it to the top of the charts in 1998 was “Too Close” by the R&B group Next.

It is impossible to overstate how great this song was. Remember when that ‘Shut Up and Drive’ song by Rihanna came out and everyone was like, “Whoa this is a bit too much innuendo for me! This is obviously about sex and not a car!” (Fun fact: I had a female friend in college that actually thought the song was about driving a car and it was cute that there are still people that are that naïve at 22). Well “Too Close” isn’t even innuendo. There is no innuendo in this song. THIS SONG IS VERY CLEARLY ABOUT THE DIFFICULTIES A MAN IS HAVING WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY HAVING A BONER AND TRYING TO DANCE WITH A WOMAN!!! I like to think that the creation of this song was tantamount to splitting the atom. It’s potential for both great societal gain and immense destructive possibilities are both incredibly high! THE FIRST LINE OF THE SONG IS “I WONDER IF SHE COULD TELL THAT I’M HARD RIGHT NOW”!!!!! Never has a #1 hit touched on such an important and relevant issue in modern society! KUDOS TO NEXT FOR APPROACHING SUCH CONTROVERSIAL AND IMPORTANT SUBJECT MATERIAL!!!

The video is really just every 90s R&B dance song in that it is a bunch of people dancing in a club and then the lead singers doing everything but getting their freak on with various girls. Next had to pull so much tail back in their hey day. I wonder if it still carries over to now? I like to think that if you write a song like this you can cash in on it for AT LEAST 20 years. These men are the voice of a generation. I salute you, Next.

Have a good week, pals. I hope it is everything you ever dreamed of.

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